My ex-career as a muslimah

Oblivious randomness July 4, 2016

Filed under: Random — evebitestheapple @ 9:37 pm

I had the most random thought today. I was about to run some errands and the thought popped into my head about how much easier life is without having to plan a day around prayers. I probably wrote about this before in a past post but I guess with Ramadan wrapping up and my kids visiting their Muslim father during this time might have made it cross my mind. Dear Lord having to plan around prayers was such huge pain in the ass especially when the days were short and the prayers were to top on each other. Coupled with trying to drag small babies into one store and out the other or a doctor’s office or a friend’s house was stressful enough. Then on top of that you have find somewhere to stop and make wudhu then pray. What a hassle that shit was and I am so glad it is no longer concern of mine.


Fringe benefits – Part 9 – Exercise and wear a regular swimsuit May 14, 2015

Filed under: Fringe Benefits — evebitestheapple @ 9:21 pm

chris crackI was searching through my drawer for something and I came across an old Muslim outfit that I forgot about. Several years ago I went to the YMCA and signed up for membership for my kids and me when I was a Muslim. After getting accepted, we went to the Y several times a week and I used pretty much everything in the facility even though I wore a jilbab and hijab. I had ditched the niqab by this time because it became too much of a nuisance especially since I was newly single. Eventually I went and bought a x-large mens long sleeved shirt and baggy pants so I could have better workout wear without breaking the religious commandments of covering my awrah. This allowed my to spend plenty of time on the weight machines, free weight area, stationary cardio machines, indoor track, and the video game room. I was able to use everything EXCEPT the pool. This Y had a huge heated indoor lap pool, a jacuzzi, and a sauna. Every time we went I would feel the cool breeze of chlorinated water and long to feel the water on my skin once again. There was no way to escape it either because the building was designed to pass by the pool at every angle. Even in the dressing room the cool water beckoned with every beach towel flung over a changing stall. Working out on the weights didn’t do much to quell my desire to jump in either. All of the sweating from deadlifts, shoulder presses, and seated rows with all of the clothes I had on just intensified my desire jump in just once. After awhile I started to feel like crack fiend that wanted just one hit. It was like thinking “the pool, it be callin me man, it be callin me”. (more…)


The downside to apostasy March 9, 2015

Filed under: Random — evebitestheapple @ 5:28 pm

I often write about the fringe benefits of apostating from Islam and rarely see any negative effects of apostasy, if that is what you want to call them. Granted there aren’t many but they do exist. I am speaking from the perspective of an American woman who, for the most part, have the freedom to bounce around from religion to religion with little to no adverse effects other than being disowned from family or viewed as being weird and indecisive. It is not like Saudi or other middle eastern countries governed by Islam where you risk being flogged, jailed, or losing your life for bouncing between beliefs. That is most definitely a negative effect of Islam and one that needs to be eradicated.

What I am speaking about are little nuances that have crept up from time to time that resulted from my leaving Islam that I never thought be a problem until now. When you convert, most Muslims feel like they are going to be Muslim until they die. And many people do remain that way although probably out of fear more than true belief in the system of Islam. (more…)


Fringe benefits – Part 8 – Marry a mermaid January 22, 2015

Filed under: Fringe Benefits — evebitestheapple @ 7:31 pm

male mermaidI don’t know what I was thinking about the other day but it made the infamous mermaid fatwa cross my mind. The mermaid fatwa was an edict that was issued by some “scholar’ and posted on islamqanda many years ago but has since been removed. In a nutshell, it states that mermaids are halal to eat (with one dissenting opinion) and uses several hadith to back up the verdict. An old copy can be found here:


So a fringe benefit of being an apostate is being able to marry a mermaid. Whereas Islam views mermaids as a potential food source and would support killing them, I am free to keep them off plate and marry one. If Mormons can believe that people live on the moon and sun and once prominent Islamic scholars can claim that the earth is flat then anything is possible and I can marry a mermaid. Alhamdulillah for apostasy!


Fringe Benefits – Part 7 – Celebrate different holidays December 17, 2014

Filed under: Fringe Benefits — evebitestheapple @ 9:59 pm

christmas treeI was in a nostalgic mood this morning so I put on some Christmas music and warmed some cinnamon on the stove. I haven’t celebrated Christmas or any other traditional American holiday for more than 14 years. Most Muslims know that celebrating any holiday outside of Eid is forbidden although many do it anyway. When I apostated I had to decide what I would do about the holiday issue.

After some research I decided that I would celebrate Christmas and other holidays if I wanted and that there was no real harm. I came to this decision because the history of Christmas started out as a pagan ritual and had nothing to do with Christ until Christians co-opted the holiday and made it about Christ’s mass. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus was not originally “the reason for the season”. Christmas started out as celebration of the winter harvest and change of seasons which was a time of decorating trees, gift giving, community, wreath hanging, and food. There may also be some superstition about the wreath preventing demons from coming into one’s house(soot/coal in the stocking), I don’t remember. (more…)


I thought the devils were chained away this month… July 21, 2014

Filed under: Random — evebitestheapple @ 5:09 pm

I wouldn’t be surprised if this happened in the Germantown area of Philadelphia. The article states that the Muslims there tried to mete out shariah punishment for a man that was suspected of stealing. The imam tried to whack off his hand because it makes Allah happy to cut off limbs in his name. Maybe if you cut off body parts in Ramadan you get extra rewards in Jannah(sarcasm).




Jannah is boring February 8, 2014

Filed under: Random — evebitestheapple @ 10:22 pm

The world can be an exciting place that can be a struggle for the Muslim to resist in an attempt to receive some fictitious reward in Jannah. I remember reading the Quran and hadith about Jannah and more than once the thought would jump in my head about how Jannah sounded so dull and boring. Being a woman all I had to look forward to was laying around for eternity waiting for my husband to come have sex with me. No television? No art shows? No roller skating? No swimming? No dancing?

No, just lie around and drink liquor out of gold cups and wait for the stallion to show up after porking his hur-al-ayn.

How depressing.

I would try to silence the thoughts with the standard “whispers of shaytaan” explanation but damn, Jannah sounded like one huge infinite snoozefest.

I’m glad I shook that belief system off and am back into the world with all its vitality and all it has to offer.